2. If at first you don't succeed, try, try and try again

3. Manners cost nothing

...and they make such a difference!

A few years ago I interviewed Barbara Cartland on the phone. In her quavery, high-pitched voice she started off by telling me "I've had 53 proposals you know!", and then went on to berate the Women's Lib movement (a favourite topic of hers) for stopping men from being gallant. "They say 'I can do it' and ruin it for the rest of us," she moaned.

She had a point but it doesn't seem to me that manners have anything really to do with gender or age.

Real manners stem from basic unselfishness...thinking of others before ourselves. I think that's why bad manners grate on us so much.

• Opening a door for someone and letting them go first is thinking of them before ourselves
• Giving one's seat to someone who clearly needs it more is simply kind (even if they decline the offer)
• Saying thank you and asking politely for things makes other people's lives better and reduces the friction that so easily springs up in human relations.

Real manners come from a deeper understanding of what's really important in life.

A letter that the American playwright, John Steinbeck, wrote to a friend in 1959 gives a beautiful example of this. He talks about the two kinds of Christmas and the different approach to life and relationships that they illustrate....

"There is one kind in a house where there is little and a present represents not only love but sacrifice. The one single package is opened with a kind of slow wonder, almost reverence. Once I gave my youngest boy, who loves all living things, a dwarf, peach-faced parrot for Christmas. He removed the paper and then retreated a little shyly and looked at the little bird for a long time. And finally he said in a whisper, "Now who would have ever thought that I would have a peach-faced parrot?" 

Then there is the other kind of Christmas with presents piled high, the gifts of guilty parents as bribes because they have nothing else to give. The wrappings are ripped off and the presents thrown down and at the end the child says—"Is that all?" "

Makes you think huh? If you like, you can read the whole, insightful letter here.

4. You can't judge a book by its cover

Is it just me or are we more obsessed with looks and fame than former generations were?

Imagine how many wonderful books with dodgy-looking covers are walking around us every day and we don't realise how great they are?

We could be having a lovely time with more people and enriching our lives by interacting with them but we don't because we're put off by their age, their colour, their appearance or something they said that offended and we can't get over it.

I'm as guilty of this as anyone so I'm reminding myself about this as I write it.

The religious leader Mary Baker Eddy once wrote, "We should remember that the world is wide; that there are a thousand million different human wills, opinions, ambitions, tastes, and loves; that each person has a different history, constitution, culture, character, from all the rest; that human life is the work, the play, the ceaseless action and reaction upon each other of these different atoms. Then, we should go forth into life with the smallest expectations, but with the largest patience; with a keen relish for and appreciation of everything beautiful, great, and good, but with a temper so genial that the friction of the world shall not wear upon our sensibilities;"

5. Good things come to those who wait

It's interesting how so many wise sayings involve patience, taking the long view and not making snap decisions.

But I've never thought that just hanging around waiting for something was the answer on its own.

Good things tend to come to those who wait expectantly and are active in their 'waiting'. They're not sitting back or depending on others to make their lives better. They're actively doing good things and working towards their goals, 

Also, (and this has only just occurred to me), it isn't just about waiting for one good thing to happen some time far off. If we're not focussed on what we want but don't have, we're going to notice and enjoy the other things that come along while we're waiting for that big thing. It might even be that the other things that come along are bigger and better than the thing we think we're waiting for. 

Patience is certainly not my best virtue...not by a long way! But one thing I have learnt through my study of investing is that if you want to make decent money from your investments you need to take a cool, balanced, long-term view.

6. Practice makes perfect

This is probably the most irritating thing that parents and teachers say when you're a kid, when you want to go out and play rather than practice the piano.

But we all know it's true (grrr).

When the golfer Gary Player hit three perfect holes in succession someone said he must be the luckiest guy around. He shot back "well the harder I practice, the luckier I get!"

Still, it's not just the tough stuff that we need to practice. 

I don't know about you but I need to practice taking time off a bit more. I bet you need to develop more of a habit of giving yourself a break a bit more often too - having a comfort day when things seem too much to handle and not feeling guilty about it. Let's get that down to a fine art!

Why not join the National Trust and learn to appreciate the natural world around us? 

Also, why not practice getting things for free instead of paying for them? That's a nice habit to have and we have a few ideas of our own on that here of course!

7. Two wrongs don't make a right

Obvious when you read it but so hard in real life! 

I often think that a fundamental difference between a civilised, developed society and an undeveloped one is its ability to rise above the temptation to take revenge. Societies that respond to attack with a measured, mature response, that can take a breath before reacting and therefore see the larger picture instead of the immediate desire to get back at the perpetrator(s) are ones that have learned this lesson.

If we'd put that into practice we wouldn't have had the Iraq war (or many other wars come to think of it).

Alexandre Dumas' story of the Count of Monte Cristo is a brilliant account of how revenge not only doesn't make a right but it creates an even bigger wrong in that the avenger becomes as bad, or worse than, the one he's getting back at. Worth a read or a look at one of the film versions ( I saw the one with Richard Chamberlaine which was good).

8. It's not the winning, it's the taking part that counts

...no it's the winning!

Well all right...yes...it is the taking part. It's not that I'm competitive...I just hate losing.

But then how much do we lose if we're just fixated on winning?

Elton John was quoted in the press last year saying that he was going to give up touring to have more of a life. "I've never taken enough time to smell the roses" he said.

I don't know about you but I remember him saying that a few years ago. In fact, if you search his name online right now you will see a tour plan for him for the next six months across Britain and America. It makes me feel tired just looking at it. So I wonder when he really will give up touring.

Going for goal after goal after goal can make us miss out on the joy of the journey including smelling the roses. You don't need to win prizes and make serious money to have a successful life.

10. There's no time like the present

There certainly isn't. I should know. I'm a shocking procrastinator. Like everyone I'll do what's easy now and keep putting off the big things, the difficult things, the tasks that demand a lot of me and seem too daunting even to start.

However I've developed some techniques for making myself do things I've been putting off including

• Getting a friend round to be with me or help me at least start whatever I don't want to do
• Creating a nice atmosphere for myself in order to do it (like going to a hot country for a week to start writing a book I couldn't get into)
• Chopping big tasks up into small sub-tasks and concentrating on getting one small thing done after another

and the Christmas break is a really good time finally to get done some of those tiresome, housekeeping and financial bits and pieces you've known you should do all year. Here's a quick vid I made last December to give you ideas of what to do each day of the week between Christmas and New Year to get them sorted.